As The Anger Builds
Dealing with anger can be difficult. Sometimes it feels almost impossible, and before we know it, we’ve lashed out at someone. Sometimes it’s not that big of a deal, and at other times it can cause some serious damage. Consider the picture below:
Fireworks can be beautiful, cool, and amazing, but that’s not my point. What is my point, you ask? Fireworks explode with a BANG!, just like our anger does when we can’t hold it in anymore, and it’s not a pretty sight.
The Effect And How To Patch Things Up
What’s done is done. You can’t take back whatever you said/did. That’s why it’s so important to learn how to control your anger. The person(s) you’ve lashed out at are now hurt or angry or both. The easiest thing to do is to avoid this entirely by learning to fight anger. However, we do end up in this tough spot from time to time, so what do you do?
1. If you got angry because the person you lashed out at had done you harm, you are probably expecting an apology (which you do deserve). However, this person, believe it or not, is probably expecting an apology as well. In another case, you might simply be having an argument and have different points of view; in this case, you shouldn’t expect an apology, and, since you’ve lashed out, the other person does.
2. So, the easiest (but most difficult, at the same time) step to take from here is to apologize first. Usually, the other person will accept and most likely return your apology. I know it’s difficult to ask for someones forgiveness at times like this, but it’s the best way to go. Otherwise, your anger with each other will continue to brew for who knows how long.
2.a. If they don’t return/accept your apology immediately, you need to begin to explain your reasons for having the argument and why you want to end it, basing your explanation on the situation.
3. Ephesians 4:26 says: “‘In your anger do not sin’: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Try to resolve your argument as soon as possible. In fact, there are some illnesses that can be caused by anger/holding grudges.
Anger is a serious thing, and should be avoided as much as possible. Unfortunately, there is no magic solution that will make anger go away. Everyone has different ways of relieving it. It may be exercising (such as yoga), writing your feelings down, and other things. As for myself, there are a few things I like to do; feel free to try anyone of these:
1. When you feel the anger coming on, slowly count to ten in your heart–close your eyes if you need to! This gives you a chance to relax and consider what is going on, instead of being too hasty.
2. Breathe deeply and slowly. You may want to take a look at yoga and see some of the breathing exercises. It is good for relieving stress and anger. You could do this along with the first suggestion.
3. I’ve taken to keeping a small smiley face charm with me most of the time. Nobody has to see it–it’s just there to remind you to be cheerful and avoid anger. In fact, smiling can reduce anger and stress, as long as it’s real smiling, not just baring your teeth!
4. My last suggestion and most important: talk to God about it. You may be thinking, “If I’m in the middle of an argument, I don’t have time to talk to God!” Well, you don’t to close your eyes and recite the Lord’s Prayer or anything. All you have to do is say in your heart, “Lord, I need some help controlling my anger; please help me not to lash out”, and God will help you through it!
Anger can be very damaging–learn to control it!