This is a very, very important thing to learn: Selfishness has no place in a friendship. If it sneaks its way in, it can injure, destroy, and even permanently kill a relationship. It is a tool of the devil. John 10:10 phrases this perfectly:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
The “thief” here is Satan, and his characteristics are also like those of selfishness. (Note the second part of the verse: It’s unrelated to this particular post, but I would like to point out that “I” is referring to Jesus; He came to give us life, and to have it to the full! Isn’t that awesome?!).
It is surprisingly easy for selfishness to get into a friendship. Both jealousy and harsh words are only two seeds of many that can sprout into a selfish action. Thankfully, there are a few ways that can prevent selfishness from ruining a friendship:
- Pray. Prayer is incredibly powerful. If you feel that selfishness is threatening a friendship in your life, pray! God is always listening, and, unlike anyone else you may go to for advice, he always knows best.
- Be on your guard. Sometimes even a seemingly insignificant thing can lead you into selfish actions.
- Build a strong friendship. The hardest friendship for selfishness to get into? A strong one. Imagine your friendship as a fortress that is being besieged by the enemy (selfishness/the devil). A fortress like that doesn’t spring up overnight. It takes time, putting each stone carefully in its place. Over time, you’ll have a “fortress” (actually, your friendship!) that can’t be penetrated by the enemy (selfishness!). Read more about how to build a strong friendship in other posts from The Friendship Series, with more to come.
I’m not saying that it will be easy to keep selfishness out of a friendship. Most likely, it will be hard. But if you succeed, your friendship would bloom and grow and become simply…well, amazing. There’s no other word for it. One of the most beautiful things in the world is a strong, unbreakable friendship. It’s not easy to get there, but it’s definitely worth it.
More from The Friendship Series:
- Words Of Encouragement
- When Jealousy Stands In The Way
- Friends: Here, There, and Everywhere
- Thanks…I Guess