Yesterday I was flipping through my WordPress reader, trying to catch up on all the posts I hadn’t read. I came across a post by my dad that had been published a few days before, titled Hope and Rebirth From Depression and Defeat. And so I read.
And Daddy: Thank you for posting that.
It’s a funny thing, now that I think about it. My dad wrote a post about (and please read it, don’t just trust my summary!) how he was inspired to continue on in something because of someone he didn’t know who said they were inspired by him. And that post inspired me.
If that makes any sense, hooray! Moving on.
You see, lately I’ve just felt busy. And busy isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Most days, I’d rather be busy than have nothing to do. These past few months, however, I have felt incredibly busy, having no time for anything; yet, at the same time, I feel like I have accomplished very little.
Here’s an example. August last year I started school. One of the subjects was chemistry, which I am currently half-way through. And yes, you read that right.
I have never (I’m home schooled, by the way), ever fallen so far behind in school. When we moved to a new house a few months ago, however, I feel like something broke. I forgot how to do all my work in a day. And bit by bit, I fell behind. I felt like I was working all day, and yet I was still falling behind. It’s an awful feeling.
(I would like to interject here that I’m not trying to say anything bad about home schooling. I love it! This is just something I’m working through right now.)
Because of this seeming lack of time, I’ve been doing other things less. Most relevantly, blogging. If you follow The Teen Theme, you know I’ve slowed down to just one post every week or two. I didn’t want that to happen, but happen it did.
Then, the other night (the night before my birthday, actually!), I had what you could call a revelation. This thought suddenly came into my head: “What have I been doing these past few months? What have I accomplished?” I hadn’t been doing as much school as I should have been. I had barely been blogging. Four months of my life were just gone, and I had no idea why.
I never want that to happen again.
Next, I came across my dad’s post. I think what it really did was reinforce my revelation. It struck me (not for the first time, but some ideas need to strike more than once to get through) that I am incredibly blessed. With many, many things, yes; but in that particular moment, my thoughts went toward my blog. Through this blog, I have a platform. I have a chance to impact the lives of people I don’t even know. How cool is that?! I’ve often said, it doesn’t matter how many views or follows I get; but if I have affected for the better just one person’s life, then this blog mean something. If I can make one person smile, or feel closer to God, or remember that through the dark times, He is still there–then my time here has been well spent.
And so I wondered: Over the past four months, how many opportunities have I missed to touch someone’s life? I’ll never know. But I do know this. I am not going to let my time slip by again.
So yes, in other words: You can expect me to start posting more frequently! But, please know, this is so much more than that. I feel like this is a life-changing moment. Maybe in a month I’ll look back and laugh at the thought, but for now, what counts is that I am ready to make a change for the better in my life. And if that isn’t life-changing, I don’t know what is.
That’s all I have to say for now. If you get the chance, please pray that I’ll be able to follow this through!